Abusers exploit the power dynamics already existing in our society to demand servitude and obedience and impose punishment whenever they believe that this is not met. They look down on their victim(s) as inferior to them and this view usually extends to their views (overt or subtle) towards women in general. However, the forms the abuse takes may vary; in some communities, for example, domestic violence may be perpetrated by extended family members, or it may include forced marriage, or female genital mutilation. Abusive men rely heavily on the forms of abuse that are more acceptable among men from their background, for example, some may be more focused on how their partners care for the house, some more pre-occupied with fanatical jealousy.
Not only the abusive behaviours but also the excuses and justifications are partly formed in an abuser’s background. Some will rely more on the excuse of having lost control whilst others will say they had to resort to abuse to keep the family from spinning out of control. Abuse can be thought of as a recipe with these elements: control, entitlement, disrespect, excuses and justifications (especially victim blaming). Abusers use a mix of these ingredients, some different tactics and justifications depending on their culture and sexual orientation, allowing their partner some rights but witholding or preventing others. Despite these variations, the flavour of the abuse is pretty much the same. Moreover, for the women and children on the receiving end of this cruelty, variations don’t necessarily change the quality of their lives much. In this way, abusive men - and abused women - are more similar than different.
Abuse is the sharp end of sexism which exists across most of the modern world, in that the underlying goal of all abusers, whether conscious or not, is to control women – their wives, partners, daughters, other female family members. Other men or boys may sometimes by targeted if they have either taken the side of the woman or girl or help her in some way, whether it be siding with their abused mother or refusing to enter into a forced marriage. Similarly, some women may collude with the sexism and the abuse, (out of denial that a problem exists, other times in self preservation, other times internalising the sexist belief that women should submit to control) – for example, the new partner of an abusive man, the mother in law who abuses a daughter in law.
Domestic violence is also a sizable problem in same sex couples, and, although it is not linked to externalised sexism, it is still linked to internalised ideas on “male/strong” and “female/weak” roles in the world and the respective values of these. It is also obviously a form of abuse of power over others which, it could be argued, is problematic throughout our society in terms of various forms of bullying and abuse. Furthermore, domestic violence the gay community cannot be understood without considering the homophobic hostility directed at it. This climate encourages self-loathing, separates people from each other and the heterosexual world, creates a sense of security and safety within its confines that can sometimes be false and leaves people in fear of "airing dirty laundry in public".
In addition to the sexism that all women face, some women face further issues of oppression. This oppression, as well as impacting on their experience of abuse, helps to create barriers to them seeking or gaining access to the help they need. These forms of oppression lie in society and not in the women themselves. For example, research has shown that white women go, on average, to 11 agencies before getting the assistance they need, while black women go to 17. Some of these additional issues and relevant contacts are outlined below.
| Disabled Women
Disabled women can include women with learning disabilities, physical and sensory impairments and those suffering with mental health problems. The abuse may have caused these conditions or may have existed before the abuse started. Disabled women regularly experience discrimination and oppression in their day-to-day lives. Attitudes that label disabled women as asexual, tragic or burdens, all serve to reinforce the power of men who abuse disabled women. A disabled woman may face threats and violence from carers in her own home or in residential care. She may be scared of losing her care place or her carer if she tells anyone what is happening. It may be more difficult for her to safety plan or to leave in a hurry if she has an adapted property or has a care package in place. She will also be frightened of losing her children, as she will know some people will doubt her ability to raise them. It is not always acknowledged that women with a disability may face abuse from men they know who may also be their carer. They often are not believed; they can be isolated and lack access to information and support. They are often more dependent on their abuser than able bodied women. Some of the serious effects of domestic violence (such as depression, anxiety and attempted suicide) can be interpreted as symptoms of mental illness, perhaps related to their disability, thus masking the real problem. All disabled women face barriers to getting help and support. They face workers who may not be skilled or knowledgeable about their needs and may have inappropriate attitudes. Information may not be accessible on many practical levels. Dial UK: Refers callers to their local service which can offer information on a wide range of disability issues for people with disabilities, their carers and professionals. Helpline 01302 310 123. Website: www.dialuk.info This section of the UK Disability Forum website gives Information for disabled women about getting help to tackle violence and abuse. Disability Alliance is the leading authority on social security benefits for disabled people, and the website contains regularly updated information about benefits, tax credits and community care. www.disabilityalliance.org RNIB helpline: Information and support for anyone with visual impairment and sight problems. Phone: 0845 766 9000 Website: www.rnib.org.uk RNID helpline: Information service for deaf and hard of hearing people, their carers, families and professionals. Phone: 0808 808 0123 Website: www.rnid.org.uk |
| Jewish Women
Jewish women experiencing violence face discrimination and hardship because of anti-Semitic assumptions and stereotypes about Jewish people. There may be mistaken assumptions about arranged marriages and the Jewish religion condoning violence. Jewish women have varied levels of religious observance, come from different racial and ethnic backgrounds and belong to many socio-economic groups. Their family life is as varied as other women from other faiths. It is at times wrongly assumed that Jewish men are not violent and always treat 'their' women and children with gentleness and respect. There is also the perception that Jewish women are dominant, in control of family life and all live in supportive families. There is also the stereotype that Jewish communities look after their 'own' and are inward looking. It may be difficult for a Jewish woman to disclose the extent of the abuse as she may fear shaming her family or community and she could be judged a failure for not providing a 'happy Jewish home'. She may also fear that separating from her husband will disadvantage her children's prospects. Jewish women may also fear being misunderstood, labelled a victim and having to face anti-Semitism and racism. Jewish Women's Aid (JWA) Freephone: 0800 591 203 Mon - Fri 9.30am - 9.30pm, answerphone after hours |
| Southall Black Sisters
Resource centre mainly for Asian, African and Afro-Caribbean women. It provides advice and information on domestic violence, racial harassment, welfare and immigration rights, and matrimonial rights. It provides face-to-face support and case work for women in the London Borough of Ealing, but also deals with enquiries on a national basis. Helpline: 020 8571 9595 Downloads: Aanchal: Helpline for Asian women experiencing domestic violence. Languages spoken include: Bengali, Hindi, Punjabi, Gujerati, Tamil and Urdu. Phone: 08454 512 547, every day 24 hours. Multikulti: Provides information in a number of community languages (as well as English) on issues such as immigration, claiming asylum, health, housing, welfare benefits and employment. www.multikulti.org.uk Amina: The Muslim Women's Resource Centre Sikh Women's Support Group: Network of Sikh Organisations UK Our involvments |
| Immigrant Women
Some women who enter the UK to join a spouse or fiancée have leave to remain here temporarily (most spouse visas last for 2 years), dependent upon them staying in their marriage. At the end of that period they will need to apply, before the expiry of their visa, for indefinite leave to remain on the basis that their marriage is still continuing. The 'no recourse' requirement bars anyone entering the UK on the basis of marriage from relying on public housing or benefits until their immigration position is regularised. Some women who experience physical and mental violence at the hands of their partner choose to leave before their visa expires. In 2002, following immense pressure, the government introduced the 'domestic violence rule' in immigration law, which states that if a person married or living with a settled partner can provide specific evidence to demonstrate that she/he is a victim of domestic violence and meet other conditions, she/he can remain in the UK indefinitely. Women fleeing violence under these circumstances only have limited claims to public funds, as they have an insecure immigration status. For a significant number of women, the existence of the 'no recourse to public funds' requirement in immigration and welfare law, prevents them from making use of the domestic violence rule because they cannot access safe housing or welfare benefits to escape domestic violence. The result is that they are faced with a stark choice, leave and face destitution or stay and risk their lives. This forces women into positions of economic dependency on the settled spouse or partner. If she has children, she can try to obtain financial assistance from the local authority's children’s services under the Children Act, or if destitute, she can try to claim under the National Assistance Act for food and lodging. Later this year (2008) – the Government will announce a new scheme which will provide support to victims who are successful in applying for indefinite leave to remain which is currently being negotiated. It is therefore essential that, as soon as a woman leaves her husband's house or even if she is thinking about this, she seek legal advice, whenever possible. In these situations, always seek specialist advice. See Southall Black Sisters' website to order - 'How Can I Support Her? Domestic Violence, immigration and women with no recourse to public funds' Resource Pack gives comprehensive information for voluntary and community organisations supporting women with insecure immigration status who are experiencing domestic violence. |
| Immigration Advisory Service
If you need advice on immigration or asylum, contact the Immigration Advisory Service. Asylum Aid: Gives free legal advice to asylum seekers and runs the Women's Resource Project. Legal advice line: 0207 3549 264 or 0207 3549 631. Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants: For information on immigration and asylum. Advice line: 020 7251 8706, Tuesday and Thursday 2pm - 5pm. Website: www.jcwi.org.uk National Asylum Support Service (NASS): Offers housing and financial support if you have made an application for asylum or on human rights grounds. To obtain NASS support, you will need to go to the Refugee Council One Stop Service in your area (check your phone book for your local number, call 020 7346 6700 or visit their website www.refugeecouncil.org.uk). Unless there are exceptional reasons for you to stay in your area, in an emergency you could be located anywhere in the country. AsylumSupport.info (part of the National Asylum Support Service): This website focuses on all matters that concern people seeking asylum, and includes a directory of hundreds of online resources relating to asylum and refugees, conflict, country data, court cases, deportation, detention, discrimination, funding, gender, government, human rights, human trafficking, law, media, migration, policy and studies www.asylumsupport.info |
| Gypsy/Traveller Women
Like women from any other groups, women from travelling communities experience violence in their own homes. As well as all the other difficulties that women experiencing abuse have to cope with, the difficulties of Traveller women are exacerbated by the attitudes and perceptions of people outside their community, and the attitudes of their own community towards marriage and domestic violence. It may be difficult for a Travelling woman to seek help from the police, as her previous experience could make her unsure of the treatment she might receive at the hands of the authorities. She may also be concerned about the way her partner would be dealt with by the criminal justice system. A Traveller woman may choose to access services but she may face negative attitudes and perceptions from staff and other service users Within the Travelling Communities, marriage is taken very seriously. It is almost unheard of for couples to live together, and illegitimacy is also rare. There is a strong feeling that it is wrong to interfere between a husband and wife, and what goes on in families should be kept private. If a Travelling woman decides to leave her husband, this means she also has to leave her community, her culture and her way of life. She is open to the hostility and prejudices of the settled population, without the security and protection that living in her own community brings. Should she decide to stay because she is able to live within the protection of her extended family, she will lose her status as a married woman and it will be difficult for her to attend social occasions, facing potential damage to her good name. Traveller Education Service |
(These notes have been adapted from various sources particularly Kennedy Potts Training Associates, Leeds Inter-Agency Project, Jewish Women's Aid, West Yorkshire Travellers Project, and Southall Black Sisters)
| Other resources
Chinese Information and Advice Centre For Chinese people on a low income, or who have difficulty communicating in English to access mainstream support services. Domestic Violence Line: 0207 462 1281; Legal Advice Line: 0207 462 1285. Website: Chinese Information and Advice Centre | About Us Global Women of Faith Network Website www.wcrp.org/initiatives/women/index |