Recognising Domestic Violence
Domestic violence includes all kinds of physical, sexual and emotional abuse within all kinds of intimate relationships. The most harmful abuse is carried out by men against female partners, but abuse can also occur by women against men and within same sex relationships.
People experience domestic violence regardless of their social group, class, age, race, disability, sexuality and lifestyle. The abuse can begin at any time - in new relationships or after many years spent together.
Domestic violence can take a number of forms such as physical assault, sexual abuse, rape and threats. In addition, it may include destructive criticism, pressure tactics, disrespect, breaking trust, isolation and harassment. Some abusers offer 'rewards' on certain conditions, or in an attempt to persuade their partners that the abuse won't happen again. However persuasive they seem, the violence usually gets worse over time.
Take a look at the early signs below - are they happening in your relationship?
| My partners is very quiet when I am in a conversation with other people of the opposite sex | My partner becomes jealous if I am talking to other people | When we are out together I am not allowed to look at other people of the opposite sex | My partner wont allow me to talk to my friends on the telephone | I am not allowed to have my friends calling me at home |
| My partner doesn't allow me to have my friends visiting our home | My partner becomes angry if I discuss making contact with members of my family | If I go out with my friends my partner creates such a fuss it is better not to go | There is usually a big row if members of my family are coming to our home | I don't have any contact with my friends or family because my partner doesn't like it |
| The only time I am allowed out of the house is to go to work | I had to give up my job because of my partner | My partner accompanies me everywhere I go | My partner tells me what I am allowed to wear/not wear | My partner tells me what I like and what I don't like |
| I have to account for every penny I spend | My partner doesn't allow me to have any money at all | My partner never helps we with the housework | My partner never helps me to look after the children | My partner makes me feel useless |
| My partner blames me for everything that goes wrong | My partner never admits he/she is wrong | My partner calls me names | My partner easily gets angry with me | My partner makes threats towards me |
| My partner is abusive towards me | I have concerns for the safety of my children because of my partner's behaviour | I have concerns for our family pets because of my partner's behaviour | My partner sexually abuses me | My partner physically abuses me |
| The blue square is usually the one associated with domestic violence - take a look at the others - they can be domestic violence too. | ||||